since this is not about me and I never intend to write about me for a while, I mean, in this world it is not only about us right ? Plus we are not the center of the universe.
the first person that I wanna write about is my ever dearest Along ! Happy 27th BIRTHDAY and your last birthday as single lady ! I love you even though you like to annoy me, always wanna win whenever we’re debating and you’re one of the reason why I kept doing my degree, even when I feel like giving up ! You’re the best sister that I could ever asked from Allah. May your marriage later be blessed by Allah and may you stay happy til the end. I always pray that for you. Always.
the second person is my lecturer, I have mixed feeling whenever I think about her. I amazed by her strength, her story and her ability to solve and to understand complicated things, but for Allah’s sake, I am so scared of her, the way you treated me in the class make me feel like a trash. You said that we’re slow in catching up things in class, I accept that, and I try hard to keep up.
Sometimes I do not understand why you convey those harsh and mean word to us, your student! It is so hurtful. You make us feel demotivated and so small. I feel worthless whenever I sat in your class. I never felt like that before, I hate that feeling.
I wish not to hate you, but I HATE your words. I know that you are young, and hot blooded but to blame us to be your mood spoiler and affecting other people, that is beyond rude. You said ‘if you wanted to treated as an adult, be one’, sad – you’re not one. You’re much more childish than we are, and I really wish the faculty could just send you to the anger management course and psychological counseling. We can’t even ask anyone to replace you cause there is none and I admit I prefer to be taught by you, cause I understand better, but I can never comprehend those feelings anymore. I am scared that if those FEAR will eventually turn into ANGER towards you. I am scared that I might do something out of control.
Be sensible please, tolerate please. I have 22.5 credit hours, and I did my best to follow up without passing out. You are pressuring us, you hate us, you even hate the seniors that repeating your subject, IS THAT HOW AN EDUCATOR SHOULD BE ?
I know people would feel weird why am I getting emotional about it, CAUSE I RESPECT YOU, CAUSE I DID MY BEST! YOU NEVER NOTICE THAT ! YOU ONLY WANT PEOPLE LIKE YOU IN YOUR LIFE!
I did my best, I really do, why are you like this ? WHYYY!